LoL..!!IMAGINE THIS WAS YOU...

Yesterday,just after the Sunday service Jack bumped into this realy hot chick....Mary.... whom, he had been eyeing ever since she moved in to his hood afew months ago. She actually, was the reason why he had moved from the church that was in his neighbor-hood to this one which was about 5kms away. So naturally, he introduced himself and concluded by quickly offering to give her a ride home and she happly took the offer. They started off talking about general stuff then about how realy 'saved' they were and eventually ran out of things to talk about because he didn't have the guts to make his move so, silence that filled up all the void in the car probing him to man up and make his. Jack....now fill courageous enough, slowly placed his hand on Mary's knee, pretending he intended to reach for the gear stick...who slightly jerk then looked at him and said, "Mathew 7:7..." And quickly retracted his hand. A short while later he again placed his hands on her knee. Now caml she said to him again "Mathew 7:7" Fearfully he removed his hand. Now having reached their estate he took her to her house where got off the car. Just before she closed the ride's door she bent over, gave him her gratitudes the paused for a minute and said "So I see you don't read your bible daily,ehe..?" then walked away. When Jack got home, he grabed his Bible and quickly opened Mathew 7.7, which read "ASK AND IT SHALL BE GIVEN TO YOU!!" Imagine..? See why you should read the bible people,this could have been you... LOL!!

A REALLY CRAZY ORDEAL....Lmfao

A husband n wife were hangin' out on a nudist beach wen suddenly a wasp buzzes into tha wife's business end. Naturally,she starts to panic. Now the husband,also quite shaken,somehow manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts then carries her to the car n makes a mad dash 2 the doc. After examining her,he says that the wasp is too far in,to remove with a forceps/ a pair of tweezers. He thought for awhile then suggestd to the husband that he had to try to entice it out by putting honey on his 'thingy' then plug it in to her n withdraw as soon as he feels the wasp. So the honey was smeared ready to start the procedure...but then,becoz of his wife's screams n his obivious freakin out,the guy just cldn't rise to the occasion. So the doc analyzed tha situation n said he'll help by performin the procedure,i.e. if both of em din't object.Naturally, they agreed for fear that the wasp would do more damages,so the doc quickly undressed, smeared the honey on n instantly got an erection then began to plug in to the wife keenly feelin if the wasp had fallen for the trick. He keeps going on n on n couldn't jst stop n withdraw but actualy continued pounding her with alittle more vigour this time. Now the husband who was still shaken n confusd from the ordeal, shouts... "WHAT THE HELL'S HAPPENING, DOC!!?" To which the doc replied... "CHANGE OF PLANS, M GOING TO DROWN THE BASTARD!!!

Owhh...We Poor Africans...

When they steal,they keep in Switzerland.Whe n they rsick,they go to Germany or Israel.When investing,they go to the states.When buying a castle,they go to London.When shopping,they go to Dubai.When on holidays,they go to Bahamas.When educating their siblings,they choose Europe.When praying,they go to Saudi or Vatican or Jerusalem.But when they die,they all want to be buried in Africa where, they looted the treasury.Our dear continent is only goodfor corpses!!nkt!....a bove all africa is blessed buh w r 2 blind 2 c...may God hv mercy on d black race n renew our heart to change our thinkin and open our eyes.