Better Relationships:Lets Understand Each Other

 Today I have a slightly unconventional blog post. So as I was composing this post, I asked my brother what he thought about my theme. His feedback wasn't that encouraging. He said, without a second thought or query to my actual meaning/agenda, in his words...

"Utasound mtiaji.."

Meaning that this would, supposedly, comes out somewhat 'noseyish' and snobbish. And don't get me wrong, I sure do respect his opinion but then, I digress, and this is what I think about it.

In as much as I think, obviously he ought to know me good enough to  at the very least, understand me better.. But then, I apparently think that he misunderstands me. This brings me to my point.

A lot of us tend to make the mistake of letting our, usually biased, presumptions, lead us to the, most of times, conclusion that we know whomever we have in our social circles. I too, I must confess, have done this countless times and time and time again I discover how wrong I was.

Currently, realizing how many times I have actually been a victim of being misconceived, in this case, in my very own backyard, gets me rethinking the state of affairs with all my other social, as well as, kindred relative connections. Do I, or even better, Do we really know each other as we ought to? Does this really affect our relationships? 

In my quest for answers I came across this content. I hope you and me will learn something from this.

...You must first understand the walls that people build up, and the barriers that you have placed in your way, too.  

When people reveal themselves to others, the truth only comes to light in layers.

The first layer: is the layer people show to you when you are a stranger. 

The second layer is the one people show when they feel comfortable with you. 

The third personal layer is kept in reserve for those who have intimate relationships with you. 

The fourth layer is the innermost part of people that they don’t share with anyone.

To read others, you need to get through their layers. You don’t have to go all the way to the intimate level, of course, but the farther in your access is, the more reliable your reading will be. 

To read people, you must also remove the barriers you place between you and others. These barriers are your projections and your prejudices. 

Come With Open Hands.

To read people effectively, you must be totally objective, which means having empty hands. You will need to overcome your projections and prejudices too, in order to be objective.

Be patient. Fill your hands slowly with information, so that your conclusions are not rushed. Don’t be so impatient that you miss the big picture. Allow pictures to fully develop, so that you don’t become embarrassed or disappointed...

Citation: How to Analyze People by James Jared

Dear reader, can you relate to this? Please share your thoughts and experiences.

Thank you.