KARIUKI;THE FUNNY FARMER..

A farmer,Kariuki had a poultry farm, from which he got daily bread for his two kids, Maina and Njenga. Kariuki was a very supersticious old man so he told his kids never to eat any egg before he had choosen and tasted the best one, first every morning. He considered it as bad luck for his business.
So one day Kariuki went to visit his parents and because it was far from, he wouldn't be home until late the next day. So, Maina and Njenga woke up early the next day then picked and ate the best eggs just before Dad came home. Now, being the bright and cheeky boys they were....they carefully collected all the shell pieces and neatly glued them together then put them back to where they had been laid.
When Kariuki crackd 1 egg but thea waz no yolk in it.A 2nd 1 bt stil nathin inside.He ran in haste,grabbed the jogoos by da neck n askd,"da eggs are empty.which one of u is using a
condom?"

"GUYS, WILL ALWAYS BE GUYS...,LoL!!!"

There was this chick who invited her fiancee, Paul over for dinner at her parents home, to show him off to her parents. So everything worked ok as planned and the parents were greatfull to welcome their soon-to-be son-in-law to the family but just before they were done eating, it starts to rain....raining heavily outside. So the girl's mum suggests: "Paul , I think you should sleep over,from the way I see it, this rain shows no sign of stopping anytime soon." Later, after the meal, mum went to the bathroom, Dad went to sleep while the girl went to do the dishes in the kitchen. Afew minutes later she returned to the living room, where they had left him....and he was no there. Alarmed, the chick alerted her parents and they every inch of the house but still could not find Paul. Finally giving up they sat in the living room in silence, busy wondering where the hell he had vanished to, when suddenly the door flys open and Paul walk in all soaking wet... Mother: "Haiya..!! Paul, kwani where did you go......and why are you that wet...?" Paul: "OH...AM SORRY,I WENT TO FETCH MY PYJAMAS" Lol.. Now thats a good one.

OH...POOR MARY...

It was after the mass and Fr. James was mingling with his congregation saying his goodbyes, like he always did at the end of every Sunday service, when one of his loyal 'sheeps'? Sister Maryllene walked up to him and she was crying.... "What's wrong Mary, why're crying,my dear child?" Fr. James asked full of concerned. And Mary, still weeping replied "Oh.....father.. I have very bad news." Fr.James:"Talk to me, Mary?" Mary:"Father.... remember Fred,my husband?" Fr.James:"Yes...I do,now what has he done this time my dear?" Mary took a deep breath and answed, "He passed away yesterday night...Father" then bursted into tears again. Fr.James, shocked by the news quickly jumped to take control of the situation and said"Oh, My Child..am soo sorry for your loss."and reached for and hugged her in comfort. After a few minutes of moaning and consoling Fr.James said to Mary, "Take strength my child, everything will be ok....Now, tell me my child,did Fred ¤oh..rest his soul¤... have any last requests child?" Then Mary dried her tear and replied, "Ehmm...,yes he did father," Fr. James:"What did he ask for, my dear child?" For a while Mary,just kept silent staring right into the Father's eyes then answered saying, "Just before he passed on..(pause)...I remember him saying.... 'OH...MARY MY LOVE,AM SORRY.....NOW, PLEASE PUT DOWN THE GUN....' "